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Tuesday, 06 April 2010

  • To wait

    Hmmm. Caught between what you should do and what you want to do.. Don't do what is necessarily easy because thats what usually has the most consequences and problems; so I've learned. It gets really hard sometimes because whats easy is always dangling in front of your face; but then leaves you feeling totally empty. Its only temporary so why not just wait.. Waiting is the hardest part ever. I don't even think people even understand what it means to wait anymore.. were so into having everything right now.. right here.. What does it even mean to wait.

    To wait.. To trust.. to have faith.. that it will come. and in due time it will. Doesn't make the wait any easier, but it does help you to push forward and recognize when something tries to get in the way of you waiting.....

    Makes sense!??!!?

Wednesday, 24 February 2010

  • WTF- FlAKES

    So one thing i cant stand is flaky people. like for real i thought we were past this. we are all adults and i really just dont understand why your still acting like this. WTF. can we please just get real.. either you are or you arent, either you did or you didnt, either you there or your not, either your coming or your not!

    You freaking know so let the rest of the world in.. geesh. i cant take this any longer.. complete and utter crap!!! go jump in a whole and just stay there for a while unitl you decide that you can flake your way out!

    Needed to get that out.
  • To keep yourself busy

    Hmm.. so when you have a lot on your mind i find that it really helps to keep yourself busy.. why is that.. why is it that the distractions of other things help you temporarily forget about the stuff that is making you upset, sad, or however your feeling. Idk really but i do know for a fact that it is working. or at least i have tricked myself into thinking its working and im am pretty good at that.

Saturday, 20 February 2010

  • I am not very good at swimming.....

    Im not good at swimming.. all because of a near death exp

    You told me you loved me.. I told you I Felt the same..
    We loved it each for a While until I Ran.
    You knew this would happen, and yet you loved me anyway
    We went our separate ways
    As time passed on you waited as long as you could until you had to move on
    You got someone else and I finally came around.
    We once again we dabbled with trouble, and you made a choice
    I Was upset for a while and tried to move on..
    When I realized I had lost it all, I Tried to get it back
    You told me I had run out of time…
    Now I’m just as lost as I was before..
    Do I wait or do I move on..
    In the mean time I guess I’ll just drown……….



    When you find out something you cant have is something you always wanted… it leaves you feeling very empty. Sometimes you actually physically fill ill to the point that the pain eats away at you until you can no longer stand it. I think that’s the hardest part, is the acceptance. What you deiced to do with that acceptance, is the moment where you have finally make a decision and then you can start to swim back to the surface. Guaranteed its not gonna happen overnight, and even from time to time that actual physical pain will re surface. But as long as you decide not to drown..then You won’t have a problem jumping back into the water and taken another swim

    I’m not very good at swimming because of a near death experience that has scared me for life. I have allowed that to make me scared of swimming and have not swam in a very long time because I am still caught up on my escape. As long as I allow this to dictate my future, I will continue drowning, without even getting into the water.

    AS much as I don’t enjoy jumping or getting into water because it only makes me think of the past, I cant let it determine the rest of my life.. I have without a doubt decided to jump back into the water. I will not drown and I do not plan to let anyone else do the same.. I will look forward, stay positive, and hope for the best. As long as I keep treading water, I cant drown. When my arms get tired and I feel like I cant tread anymore.. I’ll take a break and just float. Floating are the people and things that keep you from drowning. Without floating you start to sink and you end up right back at square one.

    I’m going to tread water and float from now on!!!!!! Now all I need is a body of water. I have all the time in the world.

Thursday, 18 February 2010

  • People are Funny

    You know.. people are really funny. Funny in a way thats amusing and can give you a good life and funny in a why that can be just freaking annoying. They say one thing and do another. Its like come on..can we just be honest with each other. We wanted to lie as kids because we didn't want to get in trouble, and know we spend so much time in trouble by lying that it cant easily be fixed with juice and crackers and a lollipop. What happen to those days.. where things can just be fixed with juice and crackers because i could really use a Barney band-aid right and a nap.

    I would say people are "funny" bc of things of the way they were brought up. Sometimes its easier to lie to protect someone else, sometimes its easier to protect them from yourselves.. and sometimes your just too scared to say the truth. When we were kids we didn't seem to have that problem. What happed?????

    I think now that i am gonna be as honest as i can.. regardless of ow things turn out.. i can no longer hold stuff in.. the lies begin to eat you alive..

    Yeah FOR HONESTY!!!

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Futurama09

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    • Name: Lainey
    • Birthday: 12/23/1988
    • Gender: Female
    • Member Since: 5/17/2009

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